Wedding Anniversary

Jeffrey and I were married on Friday, August 13, 1989 and today is our 20th anniversary! We are out in Fort Benton celebrating while my mother in law takes care of the kids. We are staying at the Grand Union and doing a whole lot of nothing except eating resting and reading. It is hard to believe that we have been married for 20 years. As a wedding photographer I see people starting their lives together and sometimes feel a tinge of envy at the 'new love' experience I am photographing. I hope their experience of marriage is as good as mine has been. Ceremonies I photograph often remind me of the commitment we had to each other at the beginning of our relationship when it was about the two of us loving each other and learning about who we are individually and as a couple. I sometimes hear of some of my clients who have decided to split up and it makes me terribly sad. More often lately I have been in touch with many of my previous clients and I have been able to photograph them as their lives change and their relationship develops into something more than just the two of them. It intrigues me to see love mature and people's identity evolve, sometimes including the lives of others and sometimes not.

I vividly remember the excitement of finding someone who I wanted to share my life with. Thinking everything Jeffrey did was entertaining and genius in some way or another. I remember the days when all we had to worry about was ourselves and enjoying the time we had together. (I know this is a little simplified but we didn't have the responsibilities that we have today and we were very different people then.) I was 23 and he 26, we were in the middle of our college days meeting each others friends and starting to explore what we love together.

Our first trip abroad was to Europe just about six months after we started dating the second time. ( You don't need to know the details.) Travelling with someone is a sure fire way to find out if you are compatible. I recommend it to every couple thinking about marrying each other. I believe it brings out the best and the worst in people. Luckily we travelled well together then and still love to travel together but now with our children. It is one of my favorite things to do. I love experiencing a new place, finding out what each of us loves about it and experiencing it together.

Over the past 20 years we have built a cabin from the ground up, bought and renovated an historical home and finally built many parts of the house we are living in now while tending to Keegan's two year old needs. (If that doesn't drive two people apart not much will.) We have gone through college together and apart, we have changed careers and found our way into two unique ways of earning a living that really reflect who we are as individuals. Jeffrey makes watches and I could never do what he does unless I had a sledge hammer to vent my frustrations on all of the details involved in putting together a watch. He couldn't do what I do because he doesn't love being around people as much as I do. Most importantly we have had two children together. (Parenting children is also a great way to dissolve a marriage.) Fortunately although we have had some fierce fights over how we want to raise our children our goals and intentions are very similar. We have two wonderful children who are growing up to be fiercely independent, inquisitive, passionate, responsible and kind young people.

I think the thing that continues to bring me joy in our relationship is our ability to enjoy our time together and to know that each of us wants and allows the other to be who they are and to continue to experience adventures without trying to hold the other back. We share these goals with ourselves and our children.

Anyway, I feel very fortunate to be married to Jeffrey and to be able to experience life as we now know it and look forward to what the future brings with each other, ourselves, our children, our families and our friends.